Michchhami Dukkadam: Forgiveness, Paryushan and the Jain Journey Within

 By: CA  Anil K. Jain

At the conclusion of Paryushan, perhaps the most familiar words heard among Jains are: “Michchhami Dukkadam.” Friends say them to friends, children to parents, relatives to one another, and increasingly people send the message to acquaintances across the world. The sentiment is profound: if, knowingly or unknowingly, through thought, word or action, I have caused you pain, may that wrongdoing become fruitless; please forgive me. During Pratikraman too, we repeatedly encounter the expression Tassa Michchhami Dukkadam while acknowledging transgressions and seeking to free ourselves from the karmic consequences of wrongful conduct.

But there is a danger in repeating even the most beautiful words year after year: a spiritual practice can gradually become a social custom, and a social custom can become mechanical. The real challenge of Michchhami Dukkadam is therefore not simply to say it, but to live it.

From Asking Forgiveness to Giving Forgiveness

The extraordinary depth of Jain thought on forgiveness becomes apparent in the familiar sentiment:

Khamemi Savva Jiva — I forgive all living beings.

It is followed by the complementary aspiration that all living beings may forgive us, that we have friendship towards all and enmity towards none. Notice the order of thought. We are not concerned only with obtaining forgiveness. We begin by forgiving.

This distinction is important. We sometimes hear someone say, “I am perfectly willing to forgive him. Let him first come and apologise.” But is that really forgiveness? Such forgiveness remains conditional upon the conduct of the other person. It may even become a subtle expression of ego: Let the person first admit that I was right and he was wrong; then I shall magnanimously forgive him.

True forgiveness asks something more difficult of us. It asks us to release anger even when the other person has not apologised. We do not forgive because the offender deserves our forgiveness. We forgive because we deserve freedom from the anger, resentment and hostility that the injury has left within us. Forgiveness does not mean approving wrongdoing. It does not require forgetting what happened. Nor does it require restoring a harmful relationship or allowing someone repeatedly to hurt us. It means refusing to let yesterday's wound continue controlling today's consciousness. There is a penalty for refusing to forgive. The offender may continue with life completely unaware of our anger, while we carry the injury within ourselves. Resentment then becomes a burden borne not by the person we resent, but by us. This is why the Jain understanding of kshama is so much more profound than social reconciliation. Forgiveness is an instrument of inner purification.

Paryushan: A Festival Directed Inward

Paryushan is sometimes called the king of Jain festivals, but it differs fundamentally from festivals centred on external celebration. Its real field of activity is the self. It is a period of fasting, restraint, introspection, scriptural study, repentance, meditation and renewed awareness of ahimsa. Monks and nuns traditionally remain in one place during the rainy-season Chaturmas, giving lay communities greater opportunities for religious instruction and reflection.

Food is restricted, but Paryushan asks us to restrain much more than food.

Can we fast from anger?

Can we abstain from gossip?

Can we reduce pride?

Can we stop feeding resentment?

Can we control the desire to retaliate when somebody hurts us?

Can we practise ahimsa not merely through what we eat but through what we think, say and do?

Without this inner dimension, even severe austerity risks becoming another achievement of the ego. The Jain traditions approach this period in somewhat different ways, but these differences are best understood as different paths towards the same destination.

The Śvetāmbara Tradition: Paryushan and Samvatsari

Among Śvetāmbara Jains, Paryushan is traditionally observed for eight days. The period places considerable emphasis on Pratikraman, fasting, religious discourses, meditation and scriptural study, particularly the Kalpa Sutra, which includes accounts connected with the Tirthankaras and especially Bhagwan Mahavira. Different Śvetāmbara communities and individuals observe different levels of austerity. Some undertake an upvas, while others undertake longer fasts such as Attham or Atthai. Some practise Ayambil, involving a deliberately austere meal with substantial restrictions on ingredients and taste. Dietary restraint and avoidance of foods regarded as involving greater harm to living organisms are also emphasised. But fasting is meant to serve spiritual purification rather than become an end in itself. The culmination is Samvatsari, the great annual occasion for introspection, repentance and forgiveness.

The extended Samvatsari Pratikraman requires the individual to look back upon conduct and recognise transgressions committed knowingly or unknowingly. Afterwards, Jains seek forgiveness from family members, friends, acquaintances and others.

Hence the familiar:

Michchhami Dukkadam.

Yet its deepest meaning is universal. Forgiveness is not intended to stop at the boundaries of family, community or even humanity. Jain ethics extends the attitude of non-enmity towards all living beings.

The Digambara Tradition: Das Lakshana Parva

The Digambara tradition organises this spiritual season somewhat differently. Its major observance is generally known as Das Lakshana Parva, extending over ten days.

Instead of building the observance around exactly the same structure as Śvetāmbara Paryushan, each day focuses attention on one of the ten supreme virtues:

1. Uttama Kshama — Supreme Forgiveness
2. Uttama Mardava — Supreme Humility
3. Uttama Arjava — Supreme Straightforwardness
4. Uttama Shaucha — Supreme Purity or Contentment
5. Uttama Satya — Supreme Truth
6. Uttama Samyama — Supreme Self-restraint
7. Uttama Tapa — Supreme Austerity
8. Uttama Tyaga — Supreme Renunciation
9. Uttama Akinchanya — Supreme Non-possessiveness
10. Uttama Brahmacharya — Supreme Chastity or purity of conduct.

The sequence itself contains a beautiful lesson. It begins with Kshama—forgiveness. Before truth, austerity, renunciation and non-possessiveness comes the attempt to overcome anger. Digambara devotees may undertake fasting and other austerities, attend temple worship and religious discourses, study Jain scriptures and contemplate the virtue assigned to each day. Study of texts such as the Tattvartha Sutra is also associated with Das Lakshana observance. The period culminates around Ananta Chaturdashi, followed by the observance of Kshamavani, the special occasion for seeking and granting forgiveness. The expression Uttam Kshama is particularly associated with the Digambara tradition, although the wider language and practice of seeking forgiveness increasingly crosses community boundaries. Thus Samvatsari and Kshamavani differ in their liturgical and calendrical contexts, but they converge upon essentially the same spiritual demand: remove enmity from the heart.

Different Traditions, One Spiritual Objective

Within the broad Śvetāmbara tradition itself are different communities and monastic traditions, including Murtipujak, Sthanakvasi and Terapanth traditions. Their forms of worship and emphasis can differ. Image-worshipping communities may centre more activities around derasar worship and associated rituals, while non-image-worshipping traditions give greater emphasis to prayer, meditation, Pratikraman, scriptural study and discourses. These distinctions are meaningful, but they should not obscure what is common. Across Jain traditions, Paryushan and Das Lakshana call the individual towards self-examination, restraint, repentance, non-violence and purification of consciousness. The question is not whether my ritual is identical to yours. The question is whether the ritual is changing me.

Fasting Is Not Only About Food

Paryushan is closely associated with tapa, and some extraordinary fasts are undertaken during this period. But the deeper purpose of fasting is not physical deprivation. Giving up food while continuing to consume anger, jealousy, pride and resentment defeats the larger purpose. A person may remain without food for several days but remain unable to forgive an insult from several years ago. Which is the more difficult fast? Perhaps Paryushan invites us to practise another kind of upvas: distancing ourselves from anger, greed, deceit and ego, and moving closer to the true nature of the soul. Similarly, Pratikraman should not become merely the recitation of words. The very idea involves turning back—examining where we have departed from right conduct and resolving to correct ourselves. That requires honesty.

Prayaschitta: When We Are the Ones Who Caused Hurt

Forgiveness has another side. Sometimes we are not the injured party. We are the offender.

In such cases, merely forwarding “Michchhami Dukkadam” to hundreds of contacts cannot substitute for genuine recognition of what we have done. Jainism gives great importance to repentance and Prayaschitta. If I recognise that my words have humiliated somebody, that my actions have harmed someone, or that my ego has damaged a relationship, the first transformation must occur within me. Where appropriate, an apology can be deeply healing. But the foundation must be genuine repentance and a determination not to repeat the behaviour.

Otherwise Michchhami Dukkadam risks becoming an annual resetting of accounts while we continue committing the same offences.

Forgiveness Does Not Mean Weakness

One reason people resist forgiveness is fear.

“If I forgive him, he will think what he did was acceptable.”

“If I forgive her, she will do it again.”

But forgiveness and accountability are different things.

We can forgive a person and still establish boundaries.

We can forgive and still say, “What happened was wrong.”

We can forgive without restoring the same degree of trust.

We can forgive while protecting ourselves from repeated harm.

Forgiveness deals with the poison within us. Justice and prudence deal with the external situation. The two need not be confused.

The Most Difficult Forgiveness

It is easy to send Michchhami Dukkadam to those whom we love and who have hardly offended us.

The real spiritual test is different.

Can I mentally say it to the relative with whom I have not spoken for years?

To the business associate whom I believe cheated me?

To the friend who betrayed my confidence?

To the person whose words humiliated me?

Perhaps we cannot immediately restore every relationship. Perhaps some wounds require time. But we can at least begin the inner process of refusing to nourish hatred.

That may be the real beginning of Kshama.

Forgiving Ourselves

There is one more person whom we sometimes forget to forgive: ourselves. Repentance is necessary, but endless self-condemnation is not spiritual progress. If we have genuinely recognised a mistake, made amends where possible, undertaken Prayaschitta and resolved to change, we must eventually stop punishing ourselves. Otherwise remorse itself can become another form of attachment. The purpose of repentance is transformation, not permanent guilt.

Bringing Michchhami Dukkadam into Daily Life

Why should this magnificent practice be confined to one day each year?

Imagine practising a small Samvatsari every night.

Before sleeping, ask:

Whom did I hurt today?

Who hurt me?

What anger am I carrying?

What did my ego make me say?

Is there somebody I need to forgive?

Is there somebody from whom I should seek forgiveness?

If this became a daily practice, we would arrive at Paryushan carrying considerably less emotional baggage.

Then Michchhami Dukkadam would cease to be merely an annual greeting.

It would become a way of living.

The deepest lesson common to Paryushan, Samvatsari, Das Lakshana and Kshamavani is therefore beautifully simple. Religion cannot remain confined to temples, scriptures, fasting or rituals. Those practices become meaningful when they transform our relationship with other living beings. Forgiveness makes us lighter. It loosens anger, weakens ego and interrupts the cycle in which hurt produces retaliation and retaliation produces further hurt. I have personally discovered that denying hurt does not make it disappear. Unacknowledged wounds can turn quietly into resentment. Learning to forgive does not erase the past, but it prevents the past from continuing to rule the present. That is why I like the thought that forgiveness is not primarily about letting another person escape punishment; it is about removing the knife from our own soul. So this Paryushan, let us fast if we can. Let us perform Pratikraman. Let us study the scriptures, practise samayik, undertake tapa, listen to discourses and observe the traditions handed down to us. But alongside all these, let us undertake perhaps the hardest austerity of all:

Let us give up an old resentment.

Let us forgive somebody who has never asked to be forgiven.

Let us apologise where we know we have caused pain.

Let us replace hostility with maitri—friendship towards all.

And when we finally say Michchhami Dukkadam, let those words arise not merely from our lips, but from a heart that has genuinely become lighter.

Khamemi Savva Jiva. 
Savve Jiva Khamantu Me.      Mitti Me Savva Bhuesu.        
Veram Majjham Na Kenai.

May I forgive all living beings.          
May all living beings forgive me.       
May I have friendship with all.          
May I have enmity towards none.

That is the true celebration of forgiveness. That is the spirit of Paryushan. And perhaps that is the real meaning of Michchhami Dukkadam.

 

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